If you are going to have success meeting women, you must have confidence with women. Are you a shy person? Why is that? What is the earliest point in your life that you remember being shy? Did you do something that embarrassed you? Did people make fun of you? In order to address these issues, you need to know what they are. There are many ways to overcome shyness and you must do so if you are going to approach women with success. One of the most common reasons for shyness has to do with the fear of rejection. Some people fear that rejection will make them look inferior to others. You are the only person who can change how you feel about yourself. I asked women: "What are some of the things you notice about confident guys?" Here are some of their responses:

"Guys who are confident take charge. They know what they want and they go for it. They don't hesitate. They hold their headshigh and chest out. It makes them extremely attractive although some people might take their confidence as arrogance."

"Confident guys are different in the way they carry themselves, their clothing, their speech, their jobs, and who they date. They have an air about them."

"Women notice confidence in guys by their posture, their hair, and their shoes. Also, when they talk they use certain words (positive and have convictions). They are also very outgoing."

"Their attitude... They are sure of themselves, a leader, head is held high, and good posture."

"Some unattractive men, who have lots of confidence, usually get a beautiful girlfriend."

"The way they walk, how they stand when they are talking, eye contact and their tone of voice. Confident men don't play like a know-it-all or a show-off…that's actually how insecure people act!"

"It's not so much the outside...it's the inside that makes him confident. He is very laid-back. He doesn't need to be the center of attention. He doesn't need to be "one-of-the-guys". He's just very comfortable in his skin."

Confidence is key if you want to attract women. If and how you approach women will expose how much confidence you have at that moment. If you can master the art of making a good first impression when meeting women, you will have much success. If you believe you are inferior or less worthy, then that is what you will be.

I look at it another way. I look at it as a challenge. When I was a kid and used to jump my bike over hills and ramps, it didn’t matter if I landed smoothly or wiped out. As a matter of fact, if I did crash down, I had more people looking at me like I was an alpha male. It was probably due to the fact that I did something that some others didn’t have the guts to do. Sure I got a few bumps and bruises, but they eventually went away. I look at approaching women the same way. Sure it takes a little guts, and you may even get rejected. But what is rejection other then a few mental bumps and bruises. Unlike the physical bumps and bruises, you can decide how long you want to nurse them. If you can learn to resist getting bruised, you will have much more confidence and have much more success attracting women.

Fear of rejection is something that can be overcome if you really want to. Lets look at sales people and how they deal with rejection. Most people in sales are very confident yet they deal with rejection every day. Even some of the top sales performers get rejected more times than not. How do they keep their confidence up? They do so because they know that it’s a numbers game. They know that for every 3, 5, 10 or even 20 sales calls, they will close at least 1 sale. The more rejections they get, the closer they are to their next sale. They also know that if they succumb to a fear of rejection or a lack of confidence, it will be even longer before their next sale. Just like sales, meeting women is a numbers game. The more women you introduce yourself to, the more success you will have. If you can overcome your shyness and fear of rejection, you are well on your way to becoming more confident.

What other factors are causing you to lack confidence? Do you have poor self-image? Self-image is something that even the most beautiful people can have a problem with. We see ourselves in a way that no other person can see. We see all the small details of our own body that 99% of others would probably never even pick up on. If you are ever going to raise your confidence level, you need to be more comfortable with your self-image.

Have you ever wondered how someone who is disabled got to be so motivated and successful? It seems to me that those who have a disability have much more success when they cease to dwell on their handicap and strive to do all the things they’re told they cannot do. I say the same to those who have poor self-image. Whatever image problems you have, I’m sure there is someone who would love to be in your shoes. You need to cease dwelling on your imperfections and strive to succeed with what you have. After all, confidence will always outweigh looks. A woman can be happy with an below average looking guy who has lots of confidence, but she most likely will not be happy with a good-looking guy who has no confidence or is arrogant.

If you are someone that desperately needs help when it comes to confidence with women, the only thing I can suggest is to swallow your nervousness and face your fears. At some point, the only wayto overcome your lack of confidence is to put yourself into a situation that challenges it and do it over and over. A good exercise for boosting your confidence is to say “Hello” to every woman you make eye contact with. Try making this a routine in your daily life and you will see how easily you can attract women and become more comfortable meeting women.

Once you become comfortable meeting women, start introducing yourself and start conversations. If you are genuine and have an air of confidence, many women will be flattered with your approach. Women are most often the shy ones when it comes to meeting. They will often tell you that being approached (as long as you don’t come across as creepy) builds up their own self-esteem. I define creepy or perverted as someone who looks 10years or older or outdated than the person you are approaching or someone who looks drunk or intimidating. If you are more than 10 years older, but could pass for an age within 10 years of her, then it’s probably ok. The last thing a girl wants is to be hit on by someone who looks like her father.

Continue meeting women around you and you will, at a minimum, make many new friends. And if you screw up or look embarrassed, who cares? You will probably never see that person again anyways. When you have time to look back on your approach, make sure to assess what worked and what didn’t work and make improvements. The worst thing you can do is not learn what you’re doing wrong. If you continue to get out there and approach women over and over, I promise that you will only get better at it!


by William Edwards

...check this out for more insight on meeting women