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Nice Guys Vs. Bad Boys
by William Edwards
Why some women tend to gravitate to the “Bad Boy” image.
There are a few perceptions that lead me to believe that some
women tend to gravitate to the “Bad Boy” image. First of all, the
“Bad Boy” image shouldn’t be confused with the “Jerk Boy” image
or the “Asshole” image. If women admit being attracted to the
“Bad Boy” image, they are probably referring to the confident,
unafraid and risk taking men who have a good look about them
and who will challenge the women they meet instead of kissing
their ass.
Women who say they don’t like the “Nice Guys” are
probably talking about the men, who follow them around, hang on
their every word and treat women like princesses. Women don’t
necessarily want this and many of them would say they couldn’t
respect a guy like this. So, if those are the definitions, then the
reason can speak for itself. “Nice Guys” who are confident and
demand respect should have no problem with women. I asked
women: Why do women say they like "nice guys", then go out with
all the "bad boys" who treat them like crap?
One Responder:
"Many reasons. First of all, this isn't true of all women. Lots of us
do have our bad boy phases (guilty), but most of us manage to
outgrow that (thank god). I think one of the problems is that girls
are taught that the bad boys are more interesting, and we are
supposed to save them from their traumatic lives with the power
of our love. No, really. Ever see the movie “The Breakfast
Club”? How about anything starring James Dean? The bad boys
are romanticized, and they always have girlfriends who save
them or at least give them something to think about during their
benders. Another problem is immaturity. That bad boy phase
generally happens with teenagers and younger women. After a
few jerks, we usually learn. Usually. And then there's low self-
esteem. If you think you deserve to be treated like crap, you will
seek out guys who treat you like that. It's probably unconscious
and it correlates with the young woman/teenager thing. As
women grow older and more confident, we kick these guys to the
curb. And finally, there really aren't as many nice guys as you
guys think. A friend of mine who's more bitter than I claimed that
there were three kinds of guys: assholes, assholes who couldn't
get away with it so pretended to be nice, and genuinely nice
guys. She claimed that there were very few genuinely nice guys
out there. I don't really agree with that, but her basic hypothesis
has some merit (for girls, too: plenty of asshole-y women just
can't get away with it so they pretend to be nice). Chances are, if
you aren't really as nice as you pretend to be, the women
actually looking for nice guys will see through you (having some
experience with your type), and the other women will ignore you
in favor of the real assholes. The genuinely nice guys that I've
met have had no problem finding women."
by William Edwards
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